People often ask me how I found out what my Spirit Animal was. When I begin to tell them they usually think I am crazy or taking some extremely potent drugs. Well, I am not on any extremely potent drugs that make me loopy. I also am not crazy, even though I am living with the mental illness known as Bi-Polar Disorder. Having a mental illness does not make one crazy or nuts. It just means they have a biological
(Psychical) brain disorder. Any way, I digress. My Spirit animal came to me in not just one dream but several dreams. My spirit animal that kept visiting me each and every night for few years was the Beaver.
The significance of the beaver was not known to me at first. The more I dreamed the more the connections came to me. Why a beaver? Why not a Black Bear or a Mountain Lion? No, the animal in my dreams, was always the beaver. Sure other animals would appear like the doe and her fawn drinking water from the big pond with its natural springs and the creek that runs through it that never freezes. But the beaver played the major role every time I entered into the dream state of my sleeping. After about it year, I would start having dreams about beavers in my waking hours as well.
Why the beaver? I thought for moment that this really made no sense at all. What is the significance of a beaver? I wondered many questions. I would walk out in to a wooded area by a creek and see a beaver dam. I would see the pond that would accumulate water on the one side of the beaver's dam. Being Polish and not Native American, I thought for a while I maybe was crazy. What does the beaver have to offer? What do I have to offer?
One Saturday morning I went to a Writer's Group at a restaurant in a local market. After our group writing session ended, I noticed that a fair was going on. They had massage therapists there, healing touch practitioners and some psychic people. I was sort of a believer but I did not give it my full attention. I was walking down the aisles when this surge of energy came shooting through my right side of my body. It was a good energy. It was not painful or upsetting. This energy was pleasant and peaceful but it also was very strong. The energy started pulling towards this woman with a massage table. Her sign said she did energy work and could tell people the names of their guardian angels. I was intrigued but hesitant. I mean I was raised in a traditional Roman Catholic family. Yes, we did believe in angels and Saints. But I never put much stock into it. I attempted to avoid this woman as she had some kind of plague. I could not escape the power of her positive energy. She came up to me and asked if I wanted a demonstration session. Since I am poor, I started to tell her I can not afford the $45 for this demonstration session. "I am on disability," I told her. She asked well how much can you afford today. I informed her I had $10 on me and that is it.
"That is fine," she said with a gentle smile. So, I hopped up on her massage table without any other conversing. I laid there for about five minutes when she said, "You are a Beaver. I am not sure what that means. I do not do Spirit Animals. Do you mind if after the session we look it up in this book I just purchased."
An energy more powerful than her positive energy flowed over me. I knew my Spirit Guides were with me. How did she come up with the beaver? I had never told anyone about this beaver thing up to this point. After my non existent response, she repeated herself, "You are a beaver."
I was intrigued so I finally informed her that I would like to see her book about Spirit Animals. "Well, I do not know if the beaver is in this book. But you are a Beaver."
Well, I had been called worse things in life. She did some more energy work on me. When she was doing this energy work the energy started pulsating through every piece of my body and being. I actually felt as if I could float on the air. The energy was so powerful. I got up slowly with her assistance. She looked through the book. No Beaver. Then she flipped through it slower and the beaver appeared.
It was like a magic trick. The beaver has a lot of significance. The Beaver's personality qualities are that it is determined, resourceful, opinionated, and methodical. The beaver is very high strung, industrious and has a strong-willed, businesslike aspect to it. It is persistent and can be possessive, self-indulgent and inflexible. I thought wow, it is appearing like I am a beaver. Then she tells me that it also says, the beaver must cultivate adaptability and compassion.
More and more the magic feeling was leaving me and the power of something higher than myself was in me and around me. It was above and below me. My two spirit guides led me to a a dreamy awakened state. I no longer noticed the practitioner. It was just me and my spirits guides moving down the creek in my father's woods. I was a birch bark canoe and my spirit guides were using oars made of oak to paddle me down the creek. We came to the pond. It was flooded. Higher water levels than I have noticed back there. The beaver's dam appeared on the other side of the pond. Holding back the water and building a natural drinking fountain for the other animals and themselves. Building community, so the doe and her fawn would have a place to see their reflection and drink the cool water. The ducks now having a place to swim and dip their heads below the surface of the refreshing water. I was on a journey. The journey to battle through the rough spots with the diagnosis of Bi-Polar disorder. I was engaging and building a community that could support me on my journey. I was persistent. I wanted to be well. My determination had kept me going for years. I was five years old when I had my first suicidal thoughts. My persistence and my strong-will to not give up even when those thoughts were flowing intensely like the river does when the winter's snow from the many blizzards of the season melt. I learned to achieve my goal of being well and of keeping myself of committing the dreadful act of suicide that I had to be resourceful.
I am the beaver. I gain my energy from the birch bark I feed on. I ride the creek on the birch bark canoe with my spirit guides by sides always keeping me from getting snagged in the debris of the flowing and ever changing creek. This is the best I have felt in many years. Thank you Beaver for coming to me.
As I started to walk away the practitioner called out to me, "Your guardian angels. I forgot to tell you the names of your guardian angels." She said them quickly but I was so in tuned with the beaver that the guardian angels' names slipped right through my being. I was a beaver. And that is all that mattered that day.
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